Wednesday, January 21, 2015

State of the Union

Darlene and I experienced some real excitement during the State of the Union address last night. I normally try to steer clear of political stuff on this blog, and I'll try to give it my best shot this time too. Here goes nothing.

We had dutifully watched about the first half of President's Obama's address when the excitement arose. Before I tell you what that was, let me summarize the points I walked away with from the first half of his speech:
  • The state of our union is strong. Presidents for the last 30 years have ritually proclaimed those words to kick off the State of the Union address, of course, so it's hard to know for sure exactly what that means. To me, the U.S.A. doesn't feel quite unified about anything right now, except perhaps in our fear and disgust of Islamic terrorists (or, as Obama would refer to them, religious fundamentalist terrorists, since apparently "Islamic" is a bad word). Or perhaps in our mutual amusement at Energy Secretary Ernest Motiz' face and hairdo.
  • The vast Middle Class is unhappy and so we are going to give them more free stuff (health care, education, childcare, and special glasses so they can read our lips the way we want them to).
  • To pay for all this free stuff, we are going to sock it to those bad guys, those awful rich people in America.
Most of what I heard the President say, at least during the first half of the speech, seemed to be some variant of the above. Then, it happened.

Our cat, Carmen, ran through the living room with a live mouse in her mouth. Darlene and I both immediately jumped to our feet in applause. (Thankfully we don't have one of those Nielsen rating systems on our TV set, or else the President's popularity would have gone up by a full percentage point at that moment.)

At which point Carmen dropped the mouse, of course, and it ran behind the curtains covering the sliding glass door.

I ran and got a broom. Darlene started hurriedly moving delicate things out of the way, instinctively knowing that breakage might soon occur.

The mouse re-emerged from the curtains when I drew them back. I stood back (broom poised and at the ready) to let Carmen re-acquire the mouse. Which she did ... holding it ever-so-gently between her soft, declawed paws, as the poor mouse squeaked in protest. More applause. Then she let it go again and it ran under the couch.

I handed the broom to Darlene and lifted the couch. There was the mouse, sitting next to a companion who had apparently already died. We assumed it had died of boredom, watching the first half of the SOTU speech.

The cat reacquired the mouse, again, holding it ever so delicately in her mouth. The mouse squeaked. The cat dropped it apologetically.

The mouse ran behind the wood stove. This time I shooed the cat out of the room with the broom, fed up at her pacifism. "I'll handle this," I said bravely as I gripped the broom handle.

The rest of the SOTU address was spent with me pursuing the mouse between the wood stove and the curtains, then back to the wood stove again, then back to the curtains, etc.

Finally, in frustration, I got the bright idea of simply pummelling the curtains with the broom. Surprisingly, I did not shatter the sliding glass door, and I did indeed knock the mouse out cold.

We put it in a plastic bag next to its dead companion, smacked the bag with the broom for good measure, then opened it and let the cat sniff it, in an attempt to communicate with her that this was the desired result of all her mousing, mice that were actually dead and not free to wander the house at will. I'm not sure she got the message, though.

Speaking of message, we missed the entire second half of the SOTU address. Did we miss anything important? Anyone care to summarize for us anything else that President Obama might have said?

2 comments:

Angela said...

Not really, he complimented and quoted himself (from a speech in 2004) and threatened to veto anything that affected his executive action on climate change or healthcare. He also stated that he was willing to work with republicans if they were willing to promote "a strong america" which I think can be loosely translated to mean "whatever I think is best".

Congrats on the mouse hunt!

Larry Short said...

Thanks Angela! One great thing about quoting yourself is you don't have to worry about plagiarism.